Some days you just shit rainbows.

Some days, man.

Your hair is spot on; Your wit is speedy as hell. Makeup is on point. Someone starts a debate about something you know everything about and you wtf own them. You convert a Jehovah Witness. The kid naps like a rock star. Your kids actually LIKE you. Husband comes home for lunch and the kids are all playing independently like champs so you have amazing wide-awake sex (which is all because you brought your A game). You make a friend! Your meatloaf tastes amazeballs and you even planned out a dessert which rocks your family’s socks off. Your kids go straight to bed without complaint. People laugh at your jokes. You get to take a bubble bath. You try a new bottle of wine and it’s frickin’ tasty. Everything’s just going your way.

Or any combination of those things. They’re rare it’s true, But sometimes you have a good day. And you just seem to shit rainbows.

And then there’s those other days.

Those are the days when the rainbow shits you. Why can’t all these awesome things spread themselves out a little? I jut got a paper cut on my tongue licking envelopes that tasted like poison. I misspelled my daughter’s name on her first birthday poster board. And found out after I had her first birthday pictures taken with it. I just realized I didn’t pay the electric bill last month. My heat has been on all day; It’s 76 degrees out.

I’d rather have every day be pretty awesome and no days be absolute shit. But that’s not an option apparently. Once I’ve had one extreme day or the other, I find myself expecting the other. If I have a good day, I go to bed in fear of tomorrow.

Today the rainbow shat me.

So I fully expect a rainbow toilet tomorrow, dammit. I’m due.

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