How to Road Trip With Children.
Step 1: Avoid When Possible.
Step 2: When not possible, embrace the suck and take precautions. Brace yourself. It’s not all roses and sunshine, no matter how perfect your angel is. And if it IS… you make me want to puke. This shit is miserable and is the reason I have a God Daughter I’ve never even met. Thankfully, her mommy understands. Because kid travel is suck travel.
Oh, you don’t want to rot your kid’s mind with electronics? You must only have one kid. Or must not travel much. Or you hate yourself. These things only last a few hours before the kid gets bored, anyways. Those are an important few hours. Seriously, Amazon has them here for like $40. And they have them on sale ALL the time. Trust me, woooooorth it.
Put a shit ton of apps on it that don’t require wi-fi. PBS Kids needs wi-fi for most of it, but still worth it for the hot spots. You can download Disney Movies Anywhere and use the digital codes from your Disney movies and they can watch them without ze internets, Just be sure to set all this up before you leave. Elmo Loves ABCs is another good one that you can maybe kind of trick them into thinking is a game when it’s totally educational.
Because kids are haaaaaard on electronics. We have This one and wowzer, is it one tough cookie.
NO CHIPS OR PRETZELS! Nothing salty. Salt leads to thirst. Thirst leads to drinking. Drinking leads to peeing. Peeing leads to A BILLION AND SIX MOTHER FRACKING STOPS. And that leads to mommy going to the dark side and fantasizing about Force choking people,
There’s these REALLY cool little tackle box things here that are really nice for snacks with the kids.
Here’s a few snacks we make regulars:
Freeze Dried Strawberries
- Here (Worthy of note: These are pretty much the cheapest they come, per ounce.)
Yogurt covered raisins
- (Worthy of note, these are cheapest at like, the dollar store.)
Applesauce and/or Yogurt Pouches
- (that don’t need refrigerated)
Smores Snack Mix
- (Here’s the recipe.)
Cheerios/Fruit Loops/Some kind of Cereal
- And convince yourself that it’s basically breakfast. One less stop. Woot. (Or say screw it and just get donuts. Whatever.)
Apple Slices/Mandarin Oranges/Bananas
- Wheels, Sticks, Cubes, Slices. Anything goes, but it’s a snack with an expiration, so you probably can’t give these to a toddler on a 16 hour road trip. (Hahahaha, who am I kidding, we stop a billion times, so I just have to monitor the yucky factor and be prepared to push the cheese around hour 3.)
Don’t take a big one. Take the smallest one you have with only essentials. Milk, Energy Drinks. Maybe sandwiches if you’re road tripping a good distance and don’t want fast food every stop.
Oh my god, so may wipes. Have them by the kid’s car seat. Within the kid’s reach. In the front seat. In the back seat. The trunk. Have them everywhere. Amazon’s are my favorite.
“Big Kid” Sippys
Because they have to drink sometimes. Boo. I hold the drinks up front with me. They ask, I let them have a few drinks at a time. But so as to prevent leaking, I do have the more pricey, but way kick ass travel cups. Here’s the kind we use.
Hide diapers all over, too. Make sure to keep them where you can reach them so you don’t have to flail about searching while the kid just wants OUT. OMG it wants out NOW.
Have a bag packed with a set of PJs, new undies, socks and a change of clothes for the next day packed and easily accessible. Have toothbrush, toothpaste and special nighttime things in the bag so when you’re done for the night all you have to unload is that one bag and just get the rest in the morning. You don’t want to unpack everything after a long ass road trip. Understand how exhausted you’re gonna be and prepare for it. I have this one from Vera Bradley because my mommy got it for me and it’s HUGE.
For additional Road Tripping tips, visit The Divine Life Blog here. She lets me edit her blog sometimes and that frequently gives me inspiration (hence this random article on a random day) and happies all over my insides (because I love editing, writing and all that word-y type stuff.)