I hate that “Best” means singular. Because “Best friend” isn’t a thing you should limit yourself on. You’re complex. You have different “sides” to your personality. You’re a complicated creature. You need a friend for everything. God bless ya if you can find one person to fill all these roles. But if you can’t, there’s no shame in having more than one Best friend. (Besides the shame in abusing the meaning of the word “best” … but we all gotta live with guilt.)
The Forever Friend
This is the friend you’ve always had; your childhood best friend. This one may not know the little things that you’ve done or experienced lately, or even the last ten years. But they know you. They know the things that happened to form who you are, and they experienced them with you. They were there through your awkward phase and were there to see you grow up. They know your very soul. And they were there with you during your laugh at farts stage.
The Classy Friend
This is the friend who raises you up into another social circle. She’s probably richer than you, or she comes from money. She doesn’t curse and her sneezes are adorable, dainty little blips on the radar that leave everyone going “awww!” She owns, and wears, pearls on a decently regular basis. If you can find one of these friends who accepts you for you, even if you’re less classy, then hold on tight.
The Trashy Friend
This is the friend you probably aren’t going to want your mom to meet. She curses more than she should, she makes your jaw drop in shock and disgust right before making you laugh until your sides hurt. She is never going to judge you. Ever. She’s the one to call when you really just want to go off on a rage bender. She will hate the people you hate. In fact, she’s the one to call if you want your ex to get told off. She is the one who makes you feel good about yourself. (Both by being supportive and also by thinking to yourself “Well, at least I’m not her!” Possibly most importantly: She will always have wine.
I don’t have one of these, by the way. I am this friend.
The Supportive Friend
This is the friend to go to when you need a pep talk. When you need someone to tell you that you’re totally rocking something. This is often the super nice friend who’s going to rationalize for you. So talk to her about the crap you’re thinking. Like, “Why do I want to punch my kid in the face right now?” She’ll come back with something sweet like “Because she’s turning into a strong willed woman and she’s already a force to be reckoned with. It’s going to be hard on you for a while, but you’re going to appreciate that strength when she’s older.” (When you were probably thinking your kid was just a terrible shit.)
The Just Like Me Friend
You spend about 50% of your texts back and forth with her saying, “I totally get it!” and “100% agree” and “Right?!” She’s in a similar stage in life. She has a similar sense of humor and personality. She’s in your head and when you’re having a group conversation and a crazy person is talking, you just make eye contact with her and you know that she’s thinking “wow, Crazy pants” too.
The Nothing Like Me Friend
For when you need another perspective. You just can’t make sense of something, no matter how hard you try. You can’t see how the other side lives. What does one get out of another religion? Why do people believe in mediums? Sometimes they’ll surprise you. They may just teach you how to accept people, or be respectful to people you disagree with; but they may actually change you. They’ll make you search deep down for common ground and you’ll find it. Because you’re so much more complicated than you knew.
The Better Friend
She sends thank you cards for including her in a group text to organize something for a mutual friend. Or spends months making you a baby gift so thoroughly moving that you’re gonna cry. They keep in touch like a rock star. They’re always on time or early to any meeting or lunch date you have because they just respect you that much. It makes you feel like a crappy friend occasionally, but they always leave your heart overwhelmed with gratitude.
The Worse Friend
This one is the one who you know does actually care about you; but is terrible at showing it. They forget your birthday. Every year. They are always late to every arranged meet up ever. You’ve never gotten a thank you card from her. She doesn’t even invite you to parties until it’s so last minute you are left kind of wondering if she’d just forgotten about you. You’re always unintentionally patting yourself on the back by thinking how that’s not the way you handle a friendship. The fact is she’s just not good at the friend thing. But when she is there; and when she does do something special for you: It’s huge. And you feel it big time.