My Deployment Playlist

When hubby goes, wifey cries. Same old story. All things suck, everything’s worse. I tell myself it’s only fair because when he is here, we’re so utterly, blissfully happy it’s only fair in a cosmic balance kind of way if he leaves sometimes, too. So, among my week of eating whatever the hell I want, I dig out my trusty deployment playlist, too. (Warning: This gets a little gushy. Feel free to skim this. Ha.)

Here without you – 3 Doors Down

Because of course. Because of the lyrics:

I’ve heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go.
I’m here without you baby
But you’re still on my lonely mind.
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time. 
hahahahaha, nope. Still waiting on that “Gets better as we go” bit. Deployments don’t get easier. You just get used to them. Like a migraine you have for a week. Or for six months. But I’m lonely. I think about you all the time. Blah blah.
When I’m Gone – 3 Doors Down

This is what I’d imagine my hubby would say. If he spoke about things. But he doesn’t. They repeat “Love me when I’m gone” just enough for me to buy it: this is totally meant to be for military families. They even have a “Tribute to the Troops” video on YouTube with like 3 million views.

Come Home – One Republic

As if it’s not clear enough for military parallels, the begging in such a soulful voice to come home, over and over is just heart wrenching.

Gone ’til November – Wyclef Jean

This is mostly because I’ve had hubby come home in November. So … duh.  To sum up: He leaves, we cry. He can’t work a 9 to 5. He’s gonna be gone ’til November.

Right Here Waiting for You – Richard Marx

Awwwww. I love Richard Marx. This whole thing is relevant, but here’s some good lyrics:

Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane

Because you are oceans apart. And if you don’t question your sanity while your spouse is deployed… you’re doing it wrong. … Liar.

Faithfully – Journey

I love this one; it’s another where all the lyrics are relevant. But here’s some choice lyrics:

And lovin’ a music man
Ain’t always what it’s supposed to be
Oh, girl, you stand by me
I’m forever yours
Faithfully

I change the lyric “Lovin’ a music man” to “Lovin’ a military man.” Sure it’s crowded and it’s more like ‘miltree’ man, but it’s fitting. And it makes me imagine him singing it at Karaoke. Which makes me giggle. Then I miss his laugh. And then pout.

Leaving on a Jet Plane

Any version of this song will do. And I’m not going to look up lyrics. Because, thanks to Armageddon, everyone knows this song. And most anyone with a deployed spouse blasts this at some point while he’s gone/leaving.

Home – Michael Buble

Most this song isn’t really relevent, actually. It’s about a guy leaving his girl and leading this kickass life. Not really the case for a person deploying. But this rings true:

May be surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Oh, they’re surrounded by people. And sometimes those people become family. But they’re away from family in a total shit hole; missing their lives that just continue on without them. They’re definitely alone. So listen to this when you want to remember he misses you.

Home – Daughtry

Yeah, you could probably just google “Home songs” and add them all to the list, too. Hubby has to be very careful with “home” labels. We’ve moved so much since he’s been in the Air Force, he has a tendency to call any place he sleeps “home” which does not fly with me. Nope, nope, nope. So this song is used for clarification: Home is where he belongs. And he’s never felt like the desert is where he “belongs” … so I win. (neener, neener, neener)

Come Home Soon -SheDaisy

This one’s all relevant because it was written for a deployed spouse. It talks about how beautiful it is to miss something so much. Mostly the beauty is in knowing he’s not likely gone forever and you’ll be reunited. But it’s also knowing that you love so deeply that you miss so much. It’s a whole new level of vulnerability and for first few deployments (if you make it through) you just feel raw.

Lucky – Jason Mraz and Colbie Cailat

This is my #1 uplifting deployment song. If that’s a thing. It’s a thing for me. “I want to miss him, but I don’t want to cry” type deal.

I’ll wait for you, I promise you, I will

Of course I’m going to wait for him. I grew him babies, he’s not getting rid of me, ever. But back to the idea that we have to have these deployments because cosmic balance: we’re too happy to sustain it 100%. It wouldn’t be fair, otherwise. Our love is a “lucky” love. (Feel free to think yours is, too. It’s not a competition. … [but if it were I’d win])

When you’re Gone – Avril Lavigne

The intended audience is probably not deployed spouses. But it’s my absolute #1 sad about deployment, missing my hubby song. All the lyrics are exactly right. But these, in particular:

I’ve never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

I currently have my husband’s dirty t-shirt that he took off before getting his uniform on right where he left it on his side of the bed. I’ve cleaned up the rest of the house and put everything else away. But I can’t move that. I also have another dirty shirt in bed with me. Like a damned teenager. Ha.

Damn, that was long. I even cut like half a dozen songs that are just hubs and me specific. Anyways. Any additions? I’m always looking to add to my deployment playlist.

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